Desires of the soul

What do I really want? If I peel back all the superficial layers, what is my soul truly seeking? I believe that my soul is longing for fundamental fulfillment, the fulfillment of what I am truly lacking. At the deepest, fundamental level, at the source of my feelings, what do I yearn for?

I yearn for myself and others to have faith in me, to believe in me.

I yearn to be loved for exactly who I am.

I yearn to be understood.

I yearn to be accepted.

I yearn to be respected.

I yearn to be appreciated.

I yearn to not be alone. If I am believed in, if I am loved, if I am understood, if I am respected, I am not alone.

On the most superficial level, I look for others to have faith in me, to believe in me, to love me, to understand me, to accept me, to respect me. When I receive these from others, I am full as long as I feel I am receiving them. If I am only looking for faith, belief, love, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect externally, from others, I am dependent on others for fulfillment. Furthermore, when I am lacking these with respect to myself, I am unable to sustain feeling faith, belief, love, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect from others.

To sustain feeling these from others, I must work to increase the faith and belief I have in myself, the love I have for myself, the understanding I have for myself, the acceptance I have of myself, the appreciation I have for myself, the respect I have for myself. I must work to increase these feelings internally. When I receive these from myself, I am full as long as I feel like I am receiving them. When I feel that I am receiving these from myself, I begin to receive true faith, belief, love, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect from others.

In our world, I have to be continuously working to receive these from myself, because in our world, there are forces that work continuously to counteract these feelings. Life among others in an imperfect society, a society that prioritizes superficial forms of pleasure, a society lacking in good character and values, a society driven by ego, by “I am better than you”, by “I should strive to be better than you”, a society driven by judging others, driven by comparing my insides to your outsides – life in such an imperfect society will continually remind me that I am not enough. That I shouldn’t have faith in myself, that I shouldn’t believe in myself, that I shouldn’t love myself, that I shouldn’t understand myself, that I shouldn’t accept myself, that I shouldn’t appreciate myself, that I shouldn’t respect myself. When I am unaware and not actively working to know the contrary to be true, living in an imperfect society, I have a tendency to feel that I am not enough.

Even when I understand that exclusively looking for faith, belief, love, understanding, acceptance, and respect externally is unsustainable, that I also need to work to increase these feelings internally, I live in an imperfect society, and therefore I cannot do this alone. I cannot sustain faith, belief, love, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect on my own. Alone I am cannot be fulfilled.

How can I know that I should have faith in myself, that I should understand myself, that I should accept myself, that I should love myself? How can I know these to be true in the face of a society that is convinced otherwise? I can by knowing that I am perfect exactly how I have been created – that in my essence I am perfect. I have everything I need in order to achieve my purpose. This is the truth. But I can only truly know this by approaching absolute truth. The truth is that I have been created. The truth is that I have a creator, and the creator has given me a mission.

What is the key that unlocks true fulfillment? How do I approach absolute truth? How do I work to internalize the truth that in my essence I have been created with everything I need?

I work to have faith in, to believe in my creator.

I work to love my creator.

I work to understand my creator.

I work to accept my creator.

I work to respect my creator.

I work to thank my creator.

I am not alone. If I have faith in my creator, if I love my creator, if I understand my creator, if I respect my creator, if I thank my creator, I will never feel alone.

Why?

Because my creator believes in me completely, unconditionally.

Because my creator loves me completely, unconditionally.

Because my creator understands me completely, unconditionally.

Because my creator accepts me completely, unconditionally.

Because my creator respects me completely, unconditionally.

Because my creator appreciates me completely, unconditionally.

THIS IS TRUE

It can be hard for me to feel belief, love, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, and respect from an infinite entity, an entity that exists outside the limits of space and time, an entity that I can never understand in its entirety.

What does love from my creator look like? How do I identify my creator’s love in my life, in this world? Is it when I feel pleasure? Is it when I am not in pain?

No, no. My creator is the perfect parent. The parent that knows exactly what is best for me. A parent that gives their children everything they ask for, that only serves to make their children feel good, is not a good parent. A good parent works to instill character traits within their children that enable their children to achieve a sense of true fulfillment, true satisfaction, true serenity, true peace. The perfect parent gives their child exactly what they need so they can achieve their purpose. The perfect parent only can do this because the perfect parent knows their child’s purpose. The perfect parent created their child and their purpose. The perfect parent created purpose.

At the deepest, fundamental level, I yearn for the love of my creator.

Thank Gd my creator loves me completely, unconditionally, exactly how I am.

I do not know what I need. I know what I want. Sometimes what I want is what I need. Sometimes it is not. Everything that happens to me is for my benefit, and then I die.

When I know this, truly know this, I can love myself exactly how I am and receive true love from all.